Nailbiter

NAILBITER

-In a section of Speak. the main character Melinda mentions biting her nails and eventually the skin around it. I found that topic and the motives for it interesting, because I do the same. So I tried to find out what motivates me to do it, and I came to the solution that it has some sort of nostalgic value (to me at least) because I started when I was quite young.-

Why do I do this?
It's the only thing I know
It keeps me grounded
From wanting to let go
It's what I can remember
From so long ago
It's what keeps me safe
From the things that I don't know

It's a crutch, it reminds me of better times
When I was younger, it made me feel alright
I can't stop, it happens alot, I'm destroying my hands
But it doesn't really hurt and I don't see the point

And what does it mean when the swelling starts?
I can feel it throbbing, I'm afraid I've gone too far

Something about it feeds a need
A hunger that food can't support
And eventually I start chewing the skin
I can't hold alot of things
Something about it was appetizing
Something I can't describe
I can feel my blood rising
I feel fine

And what does it mean when the swelling starts?
I can feel it throbbing, I'm afraid I've gone too far

Worthless and alone
Getting rid of myself piece by piece seemed to make me feel more human than before
I'm worried, but not surprised

I'm asking myself rhetorical questions
I already know the answers, but it's refreshing to think I don't
I couldn't possibly prepare for everything I will go through
And this seemed to calm my nerves

And what does it mean when the swelling starts?
I can feel it throbbing, I'm afraid I've gone too far

Why do I do this?
It's the only thing I know
It keeps me grounded
From wanting to let go
It's what I can remember
From so long ago
It's what keeps me safe
From the things that I don't know

Any plagiarists will have their balls cut off and fed to my uncles cat.